An Attitude of Gratitude

We live in a time that is filled with flippant pressure to consume, earn more, achieve more, gain more, grow more, etc.  This concept, of course, is without restraint unless it comes into contact with the Word of God, which is when reluctance, the "less is more" approach, and limitation come into play.  As a parent, it is my duty to teach my children the way they should go.  God makes a clear command in Deuteronomy 6: 6-9, "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."  Everything in life presents a learning opportunity, and a chance to teach biblical wisdom and lessons.


Through this time of great difficulty, we have a wonderful opportunity to dig into a lesson that I often impart to my children throughout tough days: bear an attitude of gratitude.  The enemy of our souls wants us to be distracted and disgruntled in hopelessness, covetousness, self-pity, pride, etc. and the best way to win that battle is through turning the tides of the mind and replacing lies with Truth, capital T!  The Bible tells us, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:3).  


We are not to be people of fear and trepidation, but of joy and enthusiasm!  Because of our hope in the Lord, we can look to Him for guidance and answers to prayer, knowing that He is Sovereign and good beyond understanding.  It is only when we step outside of these basic Christian beliefs that we enter into a mentality that brings with it destruction.  Focusing on things that are not going our way, repeatedly playing videos of the mind of negative events, and wishing or yearning for things completely outside of our control are just some of the ways to obtain a negative attitude.  Just like all sins, we naturally and quite easily slide into these behaviors like they are a pair of loved and well-worn socks.  


But, to step out of our natural sin behaviors and into God's Ways breaks us free from this self-destructive cycle.  No matter what our earthly situations bring to us, they are not so devastating that we cannot stand up under them.  The bible repeatedly tells us to be thankful, show joy, have thanksgiving, and wait on the Lord.  He is our Rock and our Redeemer in times of need.  So, we must take our thoughts captive, which describes a very intentional and purposeful event, not something that just happens passively.  When walking my kids through this exercise, I always ask them to voice their concerns and if they need to talk and then I ask them some things that they just really like.  This turns their mind to the things in their life for which they are thankful: my sister, playing with dolls, running, etc.  Remembering all the good things that God has provided in this life helps to correct any negative perspectives that want to invade and take over our minds.  This is taking thoughts captive.


Practicing this discipline is a big step in keeping our minds on giving praise and glory to God, even in our most difficult times.  We must never forget how much God loves us, or let our circumstances dictate how we are led.  We are not to be led by our emotions, but to bring our concerns and suffering to the Lord's feet in worshipful prayer.  Philippians 4:6 says this: "Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer and petition, take your requests to God."  The next passage, though, is KEY!  "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ," Philippians 4:7.  When I say worshipful I mean having a humble and respectful heart towards a Most High God, always keeping in proper perspective on who He is and who we are.  If this heart attitude toward God remains in proper order, the response and results of such prayer will be this promise.  God is faithful and does not leave us in the miry pit, but helps us to walk through it to the mountaintop, where we are able to see His bigger view on things.  Focusing on how great God is, correcting negative thoughts through intentional action, and praising the Lord regardless of circumstances provides the greatest gift of joy in the times of trouble.  Amen for that!

When Times Get Tough...

This has been a little while coming, but things have been so crazy here that I have not mentally been together enough to sit and write out what has been generally going on.  I wanted to make sure I put out some information since I have a minute now.  Thank you every one for your prayers and offers of help.

All in all, our family is doing well, but we are in the midst of the biggest trial we have yet to face as a family.  About 2 months ago, our fourth child, first and only son thus far, who just turned 2 the end of May, began to show noticeable signs that something was not quite right in his body.  I noticed his hands would shake when he would hold out his arms to be picked up.  When I first noticed it I thought it strange, but then just kind of blew it off and did not think much of it.  Then I noticed he would shake when in the shopping cart, like he was cold or something.  I would ask if he was cold but he was not.  Then he began to shake while sitting in his high chair, and then when standing.   

I noticed he began to have issues walking and even when standing would continue to shake about slightly, but enough that he would reach out to hold onto something to steady himself.  The fay after I noticed this instability while standing, he almost fell right down the stairs when he ran over to the gate while goofing off but missed the rail.  Thank God I was standing right there and caught him.  That evening when hubby got home from work I told him that I was concerned about Zack, and when Zack woke up from his nap he saw that he had deteriorated even further since church the day before, so we headed to the ER (this is about 7-10 days after I first noticed the symptoms).  We were admitted in the hospital through Friday, during which time they did a series of tests, ruling out brain tumors, and one test for Lyme's disease.  During the stay in the hospital, his symptoms progressed even further, going from having a very staggered walk to not being able to walk at all, and then started a new symptom with his eyes being unable to focus very well and shifting all over the place.  By the end of the week (about 2 weeks from the time when his symptoms began) he was diagnosed as having post-infectious cerebellitis, which is a self-limiting illness that typically begins to get better from 1-4 weeks.  This diagnosis was actually very benign, so we left the hospital hopeful that any day we would begin to see an improvement in our son, but that is not what has happened. 

We've been discharged for about 7 weeks now, and Zack is no better, so we are seeking a second opinion.  We will be re-entering the medical community to seek out an MRI for his head and thoracic cavity, because we believe that he is suffering from something called Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome (find more information here).  His information is right in line with this (less than 2 years old, presents quickly, follows flu-like symptoms...he had a cough for over a month, but never any fever or really much else) so we are seeking out testing to rule out or confirm a neuroblastoma (which is highly common in such a situation), or any other tumors in his body.  If this is ruled out, we will move onto Lyme's disease and the strains of bacteria and their mutations that can cause it.  We desire prayers for being guided to the right doctors to help us properly diagnose what is going on, protection from any negative butting of heads between us and the conventional medicine community, and respect from the medical staff for our parental rights to make medical decisions for treatment of our son, whether it be to seek out alternative care or pursue conventional treatments.  Then there is also the financial burden, as we have had to pay out of pocket for some of this, but especially his homeopathic treatment.  Any other care we pursue that it outside of insurance provision will also be out of pocket.

We know this is going to be a journey for our family and we are prepared for a season of testing.  In all of this we know that we are being refined.  The scripture I have been given over and over is James 1:2-4, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  I have been finding relation to Job from the Bible throughout this time, and am determined to continue to give praise and glory to our good Father in Heaven, who loves unabashedly and mourns with us when we suffer trials in this life.  But, we rest secure in the promise of Jeremiah 29:11-13, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."  Well, we are seeking our Lord =0)  There are beautiful things that have already begun to emerge out of this miry pit.  Hubby's grandma has come to stay with us for some time to help out.  The girls are really stepping into their roles as helpers and servants of the Lord in this family.  I have absolutely relaxed on expectations in the household and on myself, and we have been repeatedly blessed by the help offered to us by others.  Asking for help is just one area where I previously was not comfortable, but am truly seeing the blessing of reaching out in such times of distress and need.   

In addition, enjoying the simple pleasures and joys of life comes easily for me now.  Things that previously would have likely been overlooked amongst the million other things on my plate are now being enjoyed and cherished (a laugh here, a smile or tickle there, a cuddle and hug, etc.)  There is nothing as refreshing as a renewed perspective on the significant blessings that God has allowed into our lives.  I am beyond thankful for everything we have.  Even seeing where my son is right now, I can rejoice in God's love because I am still so blessed.  I still have my son, I still get to hear him laugh, I still get to see his smile.  Life could be so much worse.  We have a potentially long road ahead of us, but God is Sovereign and continues to make Himself manifest.  Your prayers are more than desired and any practical way you feel you could help, we would absolutely appreciate it.  I will be posting on this, and the loads of other things God has been teaching me since before this latest season, so I hope you will stay connected on here.  The more readers I can get on here, the better my chances of turning it into something of a financial blessing for our family too.  Thanks again and as always, please feel free to share comments, thoughts, and encouragements below!  God bless!

Sunday Morning Madness

"All I wanted to do was enjoy a lovely sit-down breakfast with my family!  Why is this so difficult?"  Have these words ever crossed your mind in the morning?  I have been trying painstakingly to get into the pattern of making a nice Sunday morning breakfast for our family.  I have this vision of pancakes and eggs, orange juice, and fruit, all of us sitting down with smiles on our faces and laughing as we eat.  But, this just does not ever seem to be the picture that actually happens.  Usually, things are rushed, hair is not brushed, clothes are on backwards, the morning chores are half done, etc, etc, etc.  Although I could write this post about my conviction to be better at keeping things more orderly, or how it is so important to be diligent about time management, which are definitely true and important things, today this post is about the seasons of life.

I had a revelation this past Sunday about this very thing.  To put it bluntly, I am not in the season of in depth meals, gourmet anything, or meals that require excess attention.  More importantly, I have a very specific and special season that I am in right now, and it requires my full attention and energy.  I am in the season of the Littles.  "Littles?" you may ask.  Yes, Littles.  The season of the Littles is when children are still in a specific season of training, discipleship, and discipline that requires a LOT of hands on parenting in preparation for seasons to come.  It is a very hands on season, so when my attention is elsewhere, such as on making breakfast, it is easy for tempers to get flared and trouble to develop, because I cannot split myself in two and help gently guide while ensuring the meal gets made.  This intention to present a wonderful sit down Sunday breakfast has left us late for church on more occasion than one, and has strangled our family peace too greatly.  Something had to give!

Naturally, God was ready to help rectify the situation.  He spoke to my and my husband's hearts on this issue, clarifying that the breakfast beauty was just not meant to be; not because it is inherently sinful to make a lovely Sunday morning breakfast, but because it was distracting from the peace of the morning and hurting our overall intentions of getting to church on time (or preferably EARLY, gasp!)  Ultimately, this breakfast vision was becoming an idol, and that idol had to be torn down!

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that it is not okay to have a nice sit down family breakfast.  There is, of course, absolutely nothing wrong with making a nice meal, enjoying it, etc.  The problem comes in when frustration, short tempers, and stress come about because of everything bending around this vision of things looking a certain way, or going a certain way.  If the breakfast meal is causing more issues than it is helping, than it needs to go and something more simple needs to be figured out until a better time at a later date.

The more important focus of the morning should be for us to enjoy life and togetherness as we give glory to God who provided the day of rest (hasn't been very restful with stress first thing in the day!) A healthy meal of oatmeal or cereal with smiles, excellent time management and big picture goals being met is far more important and valuable than eating a lavish meal while everything else goes to pot!  "Better a dry crust with peace and quiet, than a house full of feasting with strife" (Proverbs 17:1).  The funny thing is, I know exactly where this intention of the "hot meal" came from.  Several years ago a good friend encouraged me to make a hot breakfast for my kids in the morning because a friend of hers had exemplified this to her.  It sure sounded good!  "My kids will really feel loved and special, and doing so will absolutely show to them my extreme love and adoration I have for them!"  At the time I was content to ensure that the kids received a breakfast of cereal or oatmeal with juice or a piece of fruit without much thought.  But, once that idea was in my head, it was hard to shake!  This is something that we must always guard against in our media-infused culture, because the Martha Stewarts and awesome homemaking blogs will present a lot of information, often GREAT, which can easily get twisted into a sinful application if we are not careful to discern its proper use in our lives.  For a time I was good about this and did not fret over my children eating a cold breakfast, but eventually that same lie came back to me, rooted in, and up came the first fruits of its growth.  Thankfully, though, God was ready for the pruning!

In my season with the Littles, though, a lavish breakfast is more trouble than it is worth, as much as I enjoy blessing my family in this way.  The truth is, though, that we are not yet in the season when breakfasts like this will be served, because it is low on the priority list compared to the other character traits we are working to instill into our children (such as diligence, efficiency, and time management in their morning chores).  In this season, cereal, oatmeal, toast with peanut butter, etc. is just fine for the majority of days to allow for the training which will prepare and allow for the season of lavish breakfasts and meals to come.  This is the vision for our family!  There will come a day where my children will have been trained sufficiently in doing their chores that I will not have to be alongside of them in the mornings. There will come a day when my children will have been trained in the kitchen to make a great meal without me having to be in there with them.  Today is just not that day; and in this truth, I have great peace, because the cold breakfasts and quick fix meals of today are giving way to the more enjoyable and valuable fruits of tomorrow.  "Let us not grow tired in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" (Galatians 6:9).  Now, that is a promise worth believing!

Nanny 911: Lesson of the Day

Today my kids watched tv for school...yes, tv.  Okay, well it may have been Roku, and it may have been Nanny 911, but we certainly had a lesson to learn and this show really provided an awesome opportunity to show it!

I don't know if you have seen Nanny 911, but it is a show about households, often with several children, which are utterly and completely out of control because the parents are usually not training their children in proper behavior and enabling them to follow through with the training.  The children, sadly, run a muck and usually are pretty sad and upset.  This show was a golden opportunity to teach a lesson to our children.

We have a few children who think life would be oh so grand if Mommy and Daddy would just let them have their way all the time.  No's are apparently the most evil word in all the universe, and it is not uncommon for pouts, attitudes, and potential tantrums to ensue because of it.  But, I know that these same children also want to have a loving home, live a life of dedication to God, and please God, Daddy, and Mommy.  Obviously, some confusion is going on regarding the double-mindedness in this thought process.

I had all the girls come sit with me while we watched an episode of Nanny 911.  They were wide-eyed in amazement with the way the children behaved!  Thankfully, the kids and I read the bible regularly, so Proverbs is a well-known book in the Bible.  Due to these lessons, I was able to point out to them how these children were left to themselves and the result was chaos.  Proverbs 29:15 was really the one brought to mind: "To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child."  I asked the kids if this show looked like the kind of life and family time that they wanted.  Of course, they said no.  I pointed out how disheveled and sad the mommies and the daddies were, as well as the kids.  Chaos and disorganization make no one happy.  They nodded in agreement.

This show was a great opportunity to show the kids just what life looks like when kids run the show. It was not all the glamour and glitz that they were expecting, clearly.  But, God's Word still stands true.  As a mom, it is so critical for me to lead my children in the way they should go.  This is both in my words and in my actions.  And, when I fail in these things, it is just as critical for me to humble myself and repent before my children, asking for their forgiveness as often as necessary.  This is the whole point of family; to do life together, see each other at our best and worst, and truly learn how to best get along with others.  The lesson was a little impromptu, and the show a little off kilter, but I think the point got across for all of us today =0)

There's no use crying over spilled milk....

Before I had children, I must say, I thought I was totally a "go with the flow" kind of person, but the truth is (shhhhhh, don't tell anyone)...I'm really up tight.  Phew, now that I got that off of my chest, I can breathe a little.  Kids are most definitely able to reveal the darkest areas of our sin nature, aren't they?  I have learned more about how desperately in need of Jesus I really am since having children (who keep coming and coming), which actually makes me so pleased because, truly, I would rather live in the land of Truth and Reality than some false sense of "I'm okay", or even worse "I'm perfect!"

As I have mentioned in previous posts, this is a particularly interesting season in our life, because I am definitely being tried in my roles as wife, mother, and homemaker.  Finding the balance between these special purposes is very important to me, and has been for quite some time.  God, in His infinite wisdom, has seen fit to use this trial with Zachary to go through an exercise in the lesson He has been teaching me for months now.  "What is this lesson?" you might be asking.  Well, I'll tell you...the truth is, "It's not that serious."  Wait, what?!  How can you say that?  How can things not be serious?  Well, you may not really be thinking that, but I definitely would have.  Serious has become my middle name lately!  Serious has become a way of life for me for too long, and God is using this whole event to shake me out of that seriousness to force me to focus on enjoying life, my family, and the many blessings He has given to us!

It is very easy for me to get tunnel vision.  I don't know if I'm alone in this, but when I am zeroed in on a task, come hell or high water, I AM GOING TO FINISH THAT TASK!  But, when my littles and bigs are hanging around and I get tunnel vision, what ends up happening is that I miss out on opportunities to enjoy them and experience what is going on in their lives and moments.  I ignore or get annoyed by the interruptions, instead of welcoming them with the territory of the task at hand.  Ultimately, when I get this way, my temper is on edge and even I would not want to be around me.  Man, I am so thankful for the forgiveness my children offer me daily =0)  My friend and I were talking about this idea regarding if/when our children drop something and make a big mess.  Personally, my instinctual reaction is to freak out.  Not because I am mad at them for making the mess, as in, "I can't believe you just did that!  What a horrible child!"  No, my reaction is based out of the internal frustration of "man, now I gotta clean that up to...AHH!!!!!"  This is also called selfishness, for those of us who are keeping tabs of the sin nature...but who's counting?  So, because of my selfishness, I react or am likely to react poorly, because simply, I don't want to have to do one more thing.  My flesh just wants to finish the other 8 things on my list, and adding one more unexpected task is really not on my list.

But, this, of course, is not what God wants for me.  Even the task list can become an idol!  Even my best intentions to be a great homemaker or house keeper are meaningless sacrifices to God if they are overshadowing my first calls to love with a Christ-like love.  This does not mean that I should not do these things, but it does mean that in doing them I should also remain focused on loving my children and husband in my actions and words.  It means, too, that I should always be ready to drop what I am doing for them if needed.  Interruptions provide the opportunity to really assess where our priorities lie.

For me, this lesson was brought into reality today since I had to make some bread and food items for the family, but also knew that I would likely also be needed regularly for Zachary or Taliya, or any of the other kids here and there.  I made the decision, though, to only focus on doing what I could do and no more (which for me meant not making some audacious list of things to do, but only going on an hour by hour plan and adjusting as needed), and be ready to help my kids and goof off with them as much as I could throughout the day.  Honestly, things went very well.  We got so much done!  I think this was the surprising part, because for some reason the lie in my head is that if I goof off with them and we do not keep a schedule, everything will just ultimately end up in disaster and disorder.  Neither of these things actually did occur, mind you, but it is the feeling that I get inside of me.  And, this is why I am thankful for God's call to be lead by the mind and not the heart, because the heart is so easily led astray.

It is an present-day epidemic to constantly be on the lookout for the next task to accomplish, but there is wisdom in setting boundaries and knowing limits.  Take the time to remember what is most important and properly establish where efforts really need to be focused.  This will ultimately bring about great peace both in your soul and in your household!  Remember, "The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses his people with peace" (Psalm 29:11).

Have you ever cried over spilled milk?  What accidents have you or your children accomplished that nearly or literally brought you to tears?  Is it funny now, or would you still cry? =0)

Digging in Deeper

Most of our friends on Facebook know that our son has been struggling with a difficult neurological issue for a few weeks now, a season I posted about a few days ago (see my reflections on this here). Sadly, we have not yet seem many improvements in our son, but actually continued to see the symptoms increasing, which is very difficult to watch and endure. It is so tough to watch our less than 2 year old toddler son, who has no idea what is going on, struggle through this, experiencing the frustrations of no longer being able to simply do the things he was able to do just weeks ago (like running, attempting to jump, climb on chairs, get into stuff...all the typical toddler in behaviors we love and enjoy so much). He is now to the point that walking is impossible without immediately falling, and even crawling is very difficult for him as he often missteps a hand and hits his sweet face on the floor. Although I know these things hurt him physically, it is his heart that concerns me the most. I can see his emotional frustrations with what is going on and it breaks my heart.

I am thankful, though, for the lessons we are learning during this trial. God is not without purpose, even in this. For one thing, I am eternally grateful that his sweet little personality is in tact. I can still capture smiles, incite gleeful giggles, tickle him silly, and hear his wonderful laugh. For this I am so, so thankful. I don't know about you, but it is easy in the midst of living I often forget to appreciate the simple things I life. I would love to say that I am always on the prowl for the little moments of life that fill it with joy, but I'm not. I am often so focused on the next task at hand that I miss the chance to enjoy life...sigh. My flesh is showing, I know. But, it is my good Father in Heaven who uses things like this to get my attention and teach me what REALLY matters in this life, no matter what Pinterest, Oprah, HGTV, or any other influence says.

Personally, I like a tidy house. I like walking on the floor without shoes and not having grit on my feet, but I have found quite often that this intention can easily become an idol if it supersedes my higher priorities according to God's Word, namely my devotion to my husband and children. When my home's tidiness becomes more important than keeping healthy relationships with these top people in my life than I am in sin. Oh, Lord, forgive me for these many occasions. But, I'm turning a corner. I'm determined to obey this call.

The Lord has really impressed upon me the importance of being very careful to prioritize and realistically determine what I can do and need to be doing throughout the days during this particular season in our household. In our normal season of life, baking, homeschooling, cooking, planning, taking walks, running errands, etc would all be easy and normal occurrences, but right now I cannot realistically do all these things, much as I might love to. And all this week I have intended to try to establish some sense of normalcy, but have been lacking greatly in seemingly all departments, feeling that I am essentially not doing anything well. I am thankful for a woman at church who prayed against this exact thing today at church =0). So, I am determined to walk hand in hand with God through this season, asking Him daily what are the non-negotiable tasks that must be accomplished that day.

Priorities, priorities.... This is a season where minimum is best. Keep it simple. We all have seasons in life that require our full attention; when the laundry can wait, the floor can be swept later, the toilet bowls can be cleaned tomorrow. This is that season for me. My main energy needs to be completely spent on my family and our relationships, along with healing our son. Expectations need to be reduced all around. I know that God will help us to find a new normal in all of this.

Even with the uncertainty and questions I am grateful for the overwhelming peace I have in this storm. The fact is, He is Sovereign and in control. I may not like this trial, I may not enjoy the struggle, but I have decided to learn every lesson that comes my way and to choose joy in the midst of the tumultuous waves!

Have you ever gone through a tough season in your life? Did you have to re-work your expectations or priorities? How did everything work out for you? Please share your experiences below. We can all learn so much from each other. God bless.

 

Growing with my Children

"...But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd." (Matthew 9:36)

We can learn so much from our children.  And not necessarily in fulfillment of Psalm 8:2 ("...from the mouths of babes...") but more so through the interactions we have with them when we spend time with them as God has ordained.  Deuteronomy 6:6-9 makes it clear that we should be spending a lot of time with our children for the purpose of raising them up to be His disciples, knowledgeable about who He is and all that He has created, but also wise to discern the things that please Him.  Well, I don't know about you, but this idea has been a growing pain for me for many years.  It goes against my nature to spend a lot of time with children, whether or not they are mine, so I have definitely found there to be a learning curve as to what this means and entails.

Although each of our households runs differently, most parents likely face the same kinds of issues with children.  Disobedience, defiance, irreverence, disrespect, lying, stealing, teasing, hitting, etc. and these are also usually in varying degrees of "severity."  Sadly, though, many of us, myself included, have fallen prey to seeking the world's guidance for how to handle these sins (and that is what they are, so let's not mince words) and because of seeking such guidance from outside sources, we are led astray.  We try this one technique for child-rearing only to find it backfire in our face.  So, we switch to another guideline and discover that it too is not really working, or we have a hole where we are not sure how to apply it in a particular situation.  We essentially find ourselves constantly seeking the next great bit of advice, hoping that it will alleviate the problem at hand and bring peace and order to our households (led astray, "like sheep without a shepherd").  Sadly, though, few of us really ever find it, and often when we think we did find it, we see that down the road we experience some lasting consequences to a technique that was really not how God designed the parent/child relationship to occur.

So, I found myself a bit lost and confused.  Feeling defeated, overwhelmed, and taking on this struggle with children that I did not know how to fight.  As I reached out to God in my despair, it became clear to me.  "Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.  Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it" (Matthew 7:13-14).  The world's methods are broad and ranging, but God's ways are specific and focused, purposeful with long-term vision...I just needed to get myself aligned with His path for bringing up children.

The biggest downside I found with this, though, is that God's way is not easy for me....  I hate to say it, but let's be real, I did not really WANT to "parent" my child.  I really wanted to make the struggles of parenting go away.  I wanted a sinless, perfect, without flaw child.  I know this really opens the truth of my flesh, but I do not deny its presence.  But, determining to do things God's way revealed in me my own sinfulness, which was absolutely exactly where God wanted me to be!  As He spoke to me in His gentle way, long-suffering and full of grace guided by truth, He showed me that parenting is one way that He uses to reveal Himself to us, but also to reveal our nature and sinful ways with Him.  And, in just the same way that He is patient with me in my short-comings, sinfulness, and process of santification, I, too, am to behave in the same way with my children.

Truth be told: there is one difference in this parallel...I am not a perfect God.  I am a fleshly human redeemed by a Savior doing the best I know how to raise the next Godly generation.  How in the world could I truly reflect this parallel to my children?  The answer, of course, was that I am not meant to be God to my kids, but a compass for them to know Him better.  I was to reveal His nature to them as much as possible, even with my failures and short-comings.  The way this translates in our household is that I, too, am growing in my faith and understanding of God even as I teach my children about Him and His ways.  We are growing together, which is the most beautiful thing.  Do I know more then them?  Yes, of course.  Should they treat me with respect and submission?  Absolutely.  But, I should not ever Lord my position of authority over them, and when I fall short of respecting the significance of my position, I am to humble myself before them and seek their forgiveness, just as I do with my Father in Heaven.  What this signifies to them is that Mommy is just like them...sinful and fleshly, broken, and in desperate need of a Savior!  And, it is for this reason that I can be at peace when disciplining them when they sin.  I need not be angry, resentful, frustrated, etc.  When I fail at this, I have another opportunity to humble myself and apologize, and on the circle goes.

The biggest thing, though, that I must remember is that I am learning all of this without a direct example.  I was not raised to disciple my children.  I have to unlearn my cultural upbringing and learn God's Ways.  I am going to stumble through most of this as God's Word teaches me, but over time I will get better and I will learn His ways.  God is eager to teach all of us His methods for raising children.  If He pleases to reveal the why for His ways, we will grow even more.  But, we should not be ashamed of or afraid to grow alongside our children.  None of us have "arrived" on this side of Heaven.  And, remembering our eternal destination and ultimate source of Truth will keep us on the right path.

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
But fools despise wisdom and instruction."  (Proverbs 1:7)