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Sunday, April 22, 2012

Digging in Deeper

Most of our friends on Facebook know that our son has been struggling with a difficult neurological issue for a few weeks now, a season I posted about a few days ago (see my reflections on this here). Sadly, we have not yet seem many improvements in our son, but actually continued to see the symptoms increasing, which is very difficult to watch and endure. It is so tough to watch our less than 2 year old toddler son, who has no idea what is going on, struggle through this, experiencing the frustrations of no longer being able to simply do the things he was able to do just weeks ago (like running, attempting to jump, climb on chairs, get into stuff...all the typical toddler in behaviors we love and enjoy so much). He is now to the point that walking is impossible without immediately falling, and even crawling is very difficult for him as he often missteps a hand and hits his sweet face on the floor. Although I know these things hurt him physically, it is his heart that concerns me the most. I can see his emotional frustrations with what is going on and it breaks my heart.

I am thankful, though, for the lessons we are learning during this trial. God is not without purpose, even in this. For one thing, I am eternally grateful that his sweet little personality is in tact. I can still capture smiles, incite gleeful giggles, tickle him silly, and hear his wonderful laugh. For this I am so, so thankful. I don't know about you, but it is easy in the midst of living I often forget to appreciate the simple things I life. I would love to say that I am always on the prowl for the little moments of life that fill it with joy, but I'm not. I am often so focused on the next task at hand that I miss the chance to enjoy life...sigh. My flesh is showing, I know. But, it is my good Father in Heaven who uses things like this to get my attention and teach me what REALLY matters in this life, no matter what Pinterest, Oprah, HGTV, or any other influence says.

Personally, I like a tidy house. I like walking on the floor without shoes and not having grit on my feet, but I have found quite often that this intention can easily become an idol if it supersedes my higher priorities according to God's Word, namely my devotion to my husband and children. When my home's tidiness becomes more important than keeping healthy relationships with these top people in my life than I am in sin. Oh, Lord, forgive me for these many occasions. But, I'm turning a corner. I'm determined to obey this call.

The Lord has really impressed upon me the importance of being very careful to prioritize and realistically determine what I can do and need to be doing throughout the days during this particular season in our household. In our normal season of life, baking, homeschooling, cooking, planning, taking walks, running errands, etc would all be easy and normal occurrences, but right now I cannot realistically do all these things, much as I might love to. And all this week I have intended to try to establish some sense of normalcy, but have been lacking greatly in seemingly all departments, feeling that I am essentially not doing anything well. I am thankful for a woman at church who prayed against this exact thing today at church =0). So, I am determined to walk hand in hand with God through this season, asking Him daily what are the non-negotiable tasks that must be accomplished that day.

Priorities, priorities.... This is a season where minimum is best. Keep it simple. We all have seasons in life that require our full attention; when the laundry can wait, the floor can be swept later, the toilet bowls can be cleaned tomorrow. This is that season for me. My main energy needs to be completely spent on my family and our relationships, along with healing our son. Expectations need to be reduced all around. I know that God will help us to find a new normal in all of this.

Even with the uncertainty and questions I am grateful for the overwhelming peace I have in this storm. The fact is, He is Sovereign and in control. I may not like this trial, I may not enjoy the struggle, but I have decided to learn every lesson that comes my way and to choose joy in the midst of the tumultuous waves!

Have you ever gone through a tough season in your life? Did you have to re-work your expectations or priorities? How did everything work out for you? Please share your experiences below. We can all learn so much from each other. God bless.


1 comment:

  1. Your transparency and honesty about this trial is precious and such an encouagement to fellow believers. Praise God for giving us another day with our children, may we never take even one for granted. Love Mary