I don't know about you, or any other homeschooling parent, but I totally struggle with not feeling like I am giving my kids the best. The best attitude, the best birthday cake, the best clothes, the best shoes, the best energy, the best books, the best dinners, etc, etc. In this season of life, I rarely feel like I am really doing much "up to par" because things are so busy and full. Between homeschooling, household management, discipline needs, college, and pregnancy, my day is packed, so squeezing in those special moments with the kids does not happen nearly as often as I would like. Thankfully, this is an area that God is helping to bring to light so that I can give it more attention. But, during times like this, Ecclesiastes 3 comes to my mind: "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...." I know that my schooling will not last forever, and in only a handful of months I will finish my degree and this additional load will be removed...hallelujah! In addition, shortly thereafter I will give birth to baby #5, which will of course bring its own load of new beginnings and adjustments. But, you know, I am okay with that. Even though right now is not the right season for the extras in life, it is a great season for each of us to get down the basics and really learn to enjoy the simple things. For this, I am thankful.
God continues to sharpen and put fire my to faith in this season, as all my flaws and weaknesses are brought right to the front. But, I know this is why He has called me to homeschool and bear more children, so that I can grow to become even more like Him each and every day. There is certainly no escaping my need for Him now! And there is also no turning away from the need to give exercise to my beliefs and true spiritual condition on a daily basis. I must face my weak areas, because now I am greatly affecting not only my own life, but the next generation! I just love seeing how God works! Not only do we have the opportunity to teach our children all good things, including the humility needed to apologize for the same sin done over and over again as it is worked on, but we also get to work on our own fleshly nature and learn to practice self-control, etc. It is the neatest exchange, though not easy in the slightest. I look forward to the day when the lessons I am learning now are solid as a rock. That I am sure will be a welcome time of peace! But, I and confident in this, "that he who began a good work in [me] will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6). To this, I most definitely say "AMEN!"