When I was a new mommy with Lilyanna, I remember watching an episode of Oprah (a show I do not watch any more, but once upon a time loved) where a guest speaker was on who wrote a book on the language of babies. I thought it was an interesting idea and the premise of the speaker and her book was neat, but was it factually based? I had no idea. The woman who wrote the book (a title I cannot remember for the life of me, but probably something like Baby Whisperer or The Secret Language of Babies) has an audio-graphic memory, which means that she remembers and recalls just about everything that she hears with great ease. She had her first baby and over the course of her time with her baby she recognized that she was "saying" the same "words" throughout the day and there was a pattern to the "words." She realized that these repeated "words" were actually telling her the need of the baby and if she responded to these words, her baby was happy.
Up until this realization, she had not really paid attention to the sounds other babies made, but after this revelation in her own family, she began to hear other babies making the same "words". This was even true when she traveled abroad for a business trip and heard the same words there too! Now, she knew she was onto something. Well, I decided that I would absolutely put her theories to the test with my daughter too. And, I came to hear the exact same words come out of my newborn baby's mouth, as well as every other baby that we have had since. The blessing that this knowledge has been for our family is significant. I am thankful that I am able to respond to my babies and have a good idea what it is that they need when they fuss.
The "words" that the babies say are five-fold. In no particular order, the first is "neh", which means hungry, or want to suck. The second is "eh", which means "I need to burp" or upper digestive discomfort. The third is "heh", which means pain or discomfort (I have heard this clearly when I accidentally scratch the baby with my nail when giving a diaper change, and one time when I accidentally clipped Lily's leg with the car seat buckle...ouch). The fourth is "ooahh" (looks like an O in the mouth and sounds kind of wahh-ish), which means tired. And, last but not least, the fifth is "arghh" (sounds like a deeper grunting noise), which means "I need to poop" or lower digestive "movement." I regularly hear all of these sounds, which is so neat every time.
The thing I find fascinating about all of this is the adaptability of babies. If a baby's word cues are heard and responded to in the initial weeks and months following birth, they will continue to make these sounds well throughout the first year, until another method of communication is provided (hand gestures, sign language, words, etc). But, if a parent does not respond to these cues and the baby must cry in order to receive a response, they will simply stop "saying" the "words" around the two month mark and go straight into the method of communication that gets their needed response (i.e. they will simply cry more and get there more quickly if that is what they need to do for their parent to respond). I find this so interesting.
I was able to capture a quick video of Taliya telling me she was hungry, so enjoy and tell me what you hear when you listen to your baby, or any baby, "talking". =0)
Just this over a week ago Saturday (January 28, 2012), we welcomed our fifth child into the family: Taliya Ruth. This little angel is so precious. We are just eating her up.
Just to recap some historical information with our family, we have decided that home is the best place for us to be for birth unless a medical reason arises, so I have had all but one of my babies at home. Our first birth was in the hospital and it was less than satisfying (to put it gently) and after doing a lot of research and reading many books and medical studies, we found that home birth with certified midwives is an excellent alternative to the hospital birth experience (for more information on this topic, please check out the resource list for recommended sources). In addition, all of my children have been "overdue", or past the date of "estimatation" (EDD). This has ranged from 7-16 days, prior to this 5th birth. Thankfully, the recurrent nature of post-term babies for me has allowed me to get my mind in gear to expect the babies to come later rather than early. This has really helped with the end of pregnancy mind games that happen when mommy is just sick of being pregnant and wants to hold final hold the baby at the end of the race. It is always helpful to focus on the fact that the EDD is just an estimation, not a prediction.
We have been so excited in anticipation for the birth of Taliya. A funny side story is that, as previously mentioned, I always expect my babies to go "overdue", so in the beginning of this pregnancy, when I initially found out I was pregnant, I decided to "tell people" my due date was a week later than it actually was. This was to deter the regular "when is the baby coming" questions at the end, which can be very trying when you are "overdue". Well, in the midst of adding this week for others, I got lost in the dates and confused myself into thinking the actual due date was the "false one". I did not realize this mistake until my 38 week appointment with my midwives. She said, "You are officially 38 weeks pregnant!" to which I replied, "I thought I was 37 weeks pregnant...". She flips open her chart and said, "No, you're due X date and are 38 weeks today.". The only problem with this "new" information was that my husband had scheduled work tests the entire week before my false due date, which meant he now had things scheduled the entire week after I would hit 40 weeks! I just decided that I would have to wait until at least after Friday to have the baby so he could get his work done.
Of course, on my "due date" a lot of sudden pre-labor/Braxton Hicks started. They were intense and came a lot throughout the day, but ultimately did not go anywhere, so I just basically ignored them. This continued on throughout the week, sometimes getting so uncomfortable that I would have to breathe through them. I was woken up during the middle of the night with them. Things were happening, but they did not go any farther, so I just ignored them. We got through the week while Mark finished up his work tasks and the weekend began.
On Saturday morning, at 2:30 am, I was awoken by contractions again. This time, though, they were not going away. I just kind of labored at the foot of the bed, debating on if I should lay back down and sleep (since I had just gotten into bed at midnight) or if I needed to get up. A few minutes later a sudden burst of nausea hit me, so I ran to the bathroom and the lovely side of birth began =0). My body emptied out all the food things we had taken in over the next couple of hours, which of course was time that also included many contractions in between bathroom runs and sleeping on the couch for a few minutes here and there. It was pretty. Thankfully, though, once my stomach was emptied, the nausea went away for the rest of labor.
Around 4:30 am, I was thinking about whether or not I needed to wake up Mark. I knew he was tired and I didn't know how long we would have for the labor, but I was expecting our normal 11-14 hours. But, then I remembered that we needed to fill the birth tub with water and I didn't know how long that would take, so I decided it would be best to wake him up just to be safe. I went into the bedroom, tapped his foot a few times and said, "Babe, I'm in labor...". He responded with "Great"! He then proceeded to text the midwife that I was in labor and throwing up and she immediately called him back and said they were on their way. Little did I know that she was actually concerned about not making it in time because she lives 45 minutes away. Thankfully she had been awake when Mark texted her so she was ready to move right away (P.S. it is not recommended to text the midwife in situations like this, lol, but had she not called Mark back right away I was going to have him call). He immediately got to work filling the tub and I got back into my position on the couch, sitting and laboring in a cross-legged position.
Man, it felt intense! But, because I am accustomed to long labors, I just kept thinking that I was still early in my progress. The first midwife (assistant) arrived around 4:50 am and she just quietly sat in the room with me and observed my labor. I would simply go limp in my upper torso when the contractions would hit, I would lower my head and slowly sway back and forth in my upper body while making low/deep moaning noises. This was my main labor position, lol.
Soon after, the other student midwife and the main midwife arrived and the tub was filled. I later learned some back story to the tub situation. It had been filled with very hot water, since my husband was anticipating a long labor. The midwife informed him that they needed to add some cold water to cool the water down, which they proceeded to do quickly. Of course, I did not know any of this was going on in the room next to me. I was just focused on my laboring, which was getting more and more difficult to manage. "Dear God, tell me that I am not 2-3 cm, because I do not know how I am going to get through 8 more hours of this" was what was going through my mind. My hips were killing me. My back was hurting. I stood up and was leaning over the couch to try to get some relief and one of the midwives helped offer some counter pressure on my hips, which really helped to alleviate some of the intensity. This was all happening around 6:50 am.
The kids were downstairs putting together some "crafts" to welcome Taliya into the family.
At 7am, I was told I could get into the water, which I was hesitant to do because I knew I was making nice progress and I didn't want the water to halt any progress, even though I love the relief the water offers. But, I got into the water eagerly anyway. It felt so great! Even when the next contraction came it felt less intense and more peaceful, which was a welcome relief! Water rocks! A minute or so later the midwife said, "Whenever you begin to feel pressure in your rear, just let me know". It was a humorous statement to me because I had been feeling some pressure already, but I "knew" it was not yet the baby because in my head I was "only 3-4" or so I kept telling myself. They asked me to move to another side of the tub so that they could see better, which I knew meant they thought I would be pushing soon, but I didn't really want to believe her because if she was wrong I didn't want to have my hopes up, even though this was countering what I knew was going on in my body...this was my battle of experience, lol. Past experiences were clouding my better judgment and thinking processes.
First contractions in the water...less intense than before but still intense!
Right after the midwives had me switch to the other side of the pool so they could get a better view, pushing began!
Pushing...
Head's out and I turned over (upon instinct)
Baby's out, but still in the water (cord was loosely around her foot)
Right into mommy's arms...just how I like it =0)
And, Mommy's face of disbelief...my exact words were, "SHUT UP!"
Anyway, about a minute later, I felt the beginning of pushing, which was met without any objections so I just went with it. About a minute after that she was crowning and 30 seconds later she was in my arms. The entire birth was seamless, smoothe, and totally caught my husband and me by surprise with how quickly it went! My 5 day "overdue" baby was covered in vernix (a sign of being a younger baby) and was beautiful. When we eventually weighed her she was 7 lbs 2 oz and 20 1/4 inches long. She nursed fine (although we had a little latch issue for a bit, but eventually worked through it) and slept wonderfully. She has been such an amazing blessing. Taliya, "dew of Heaven", Ruth, "companion and friend", has become the newest little love addiction for the Filter household, and she is definitely abundantly blessed by the many hands that hold and love her! =0)
First picture with all 5 children! Welcome to the family, Taliya! We love you!
(I finally was able to put together the video of the event. We love to video tape the births of the kids, because the girls especially have really enjoyed seeing their own birth. We are asked regularly if they can watch them. =0) I hope it blesses, encourages, and awes you as much as it does me.)
If I had to say the number one main statement I hear when I tell people that I am homeschooling our children, it is almost always, without fail, "Oh, I don't have enough patience to home school." And, my near immediate response..."Neither do I." And, honestly, this is the truth. If I could recount the number of times that I am seriously impatient with our children (and as the numbers grow, my impatience is revealed more and more), I would really have to begin getting into some seriously high numbers. But, the point of home schooling is not to be a perfectly patient adult. Shoot, I would think that any teacher would be easily able to say that there are many days when their patience is significantly tried in teaching a room full of children, so it is certainly not crazy to say that patience is not a pre-requisite for teaching our children. Are there any pre-requisites? Well, if we plan on doing a beneficial job for our children, yes, I do believe that there is one main pre-requisite that stands out in my head...humility.
"Humility?" you may be asking, "Really?! Of all the available traits of importance; intelligence, book-smarts, a college degree, high school diploma, etc., you choose humility?" And my answer, of course, is "yes." All those other attributes, skills, and smarts we have will only add to what we can pour into our children, but if we do not first begin with humble and submissive hearts towards God, nothing else we can teach our children will matter. The fact is, we can pound information, knowledge, Truth, scripture, science, math, etc, into them all we want, but if we do not model for them a humble heart, we will not be setting them up for a blessed existence when they become adults. This has been a very important truth for me, as I have been learning it piece by piece as my years of motherhood have grown longer. It is inevitable that I will sin before my children. It is inevitable that I will lose my temper, say foolish things, speak rashly or harshly, etc. I am human, and flesh, so as I go through this process of sanctification, becoming more like my Savior, my humanity will continue to show itself. Knowing this, when I act in ways that are a poor example or reflection of God's character, it is CRITICAL that I then model humility and repentance before my children, asking them for forgiveness and prayer for my weakness and then continue to intentionally work on my failings with each passing occasion and opportunity. I am so very blessed to watch this transaction occur on a regular basis. My oldest, Lily, has the most beautiful heart when I fail to exemplify Christ properly. Just this morning I took out some frustrations with another child on her and spoke harshly to her. Once I had gathered myself together, I sincerely told her that I was really sorry I lost my temper and than although I was right in what I was saying to her, I was very wrong in my delivery. I should not have taken out my frustrations on her. I then asked for her forgiveness, which she quickly gave, and then asked if we could pray together. I was so upset with myself and my lack of self-control that when we held hands to pray I could not speak, so my little girl prayed for me, and over me...the tears flowed easily. This is called "being humbled"...God saw fit to give me children so that I could be broken in my pride and grow in His character. I needed to be humbled, and apparently continue to need it on a regular basis.
If there were one often overlooked benefit to homeschooling our children, I would absolutely, without question, have to say that it is the spiritual benefits and blessings that it bestows upon the homeschooling parent! There are definitely blessings to be had for our children, but the homeschooling woman (I will use woman here loosely, understanding that men/dads too will experience the same blessings, but for sake of ease...) must, on a daily and sometimes minute by minute basis, sacrifice the self in order to serve the little children in her care. I wish I could say that this was a "lesson learned," but this is most decidedly a lesson in learning right now. I suspect it will continue to be for some time, too. We all tell our children, "Practice makes perfect." Well, there is no better way to grow in patience, love, joy in times of difficulty and trials, peace, gentility, etc. than to have to face opportunities with our children day in and day out as we uncover their every strength and weakness, and they uncover ours. There is no better way to grow in developing relationships and strengthening our bond to one another than through going through to toughest times together and coming out of them together. At home, especially when lived all day every day, there is no true escape...confrontation, difficulty, etc. must be dealt with head on and both offenders must learn how to serve another instead of expect to be served. There is no better way to learn how to be a servant of Christ than when walking in His shoes through the floors of our homes. Motherhood is not easy. Home schooling is not easy. But, the eternal rewards of persevering in these areas, in doing them God's Way, in submitting to Him each step of the way, and in obeying His guidance and Word with every inch that we move, are more valuable than any gold or silver that could possibly be accumulated in this entire world. We, as parents, must always be of the mindset that John held for his disciples: "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" (3 John 1: 4). And, for them to learn to do so, we must be models of truth walkers. Perfect? By no means, but humble before God? Always.
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